Friday, 10 July 2009

• 27 years

  I think I just heard firecrackers. It is quite past the fourth.

  So I'm another year older. You don't automatically become more mature at or around your birthday, but I think that happened to me this year. I feel more mature at least.

  I don't post my birthday on Facebook because I'm superparanoid, and I don't want these two accounts linked in any way. I suppose I could take it off here, but I kind of like the anonyminity. I got plenty more birthday wishes than I expected anyway. The consumers that I work with took me out to dinner at Bennigans. My mom came along too. My dad wanted to, but my grandma broke her shoulder (a week after having surgery for breaking the other one), so he was downstate. My roommates put a sign on my door. It was quite a good surprise.

  I got up early this morning becasue I had a nightmare. I didn't scream though like I did the other day when my roommate heard me and wondered what that was. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I started making a list of things I never thought would happen in my life. It shows where I've been so far in my adult life and where I'm at right now. So here it is for your reading pleasure.

  When I was in high school, I never thought that I'd...

  • be overweight/obese
  • contemplate suicide
  • attend Notre Dame
  • own a dog
  • have a mentor (however briefly)
  • have a friend that died from a mental illness
  • study psychology
  • have friends from different generations (and so many!)
  • be without insurance
  • learn to opperate a fairway mower
  • question my religion
  • go on a service trip to El Salvador
  • go to a treatment center in New York
  • have times, like now, when writing doesn't come naturally
  • say that I'm from another town
  • sleep with a CPAP (or know what one was)
  • not graduate college in four years
  • stop running
  • listen to country music
  • become closer to my grandma
  • watch a birth
  • live in a moblie home
  • turn in an incomplete assignment
  • have to take medication at such an early age
  • have irregular sleeping and eating patterns
  • tolerate a messy room
  • not attend church every Sunday / attend church more than once a week

  This morning it seemed like I got carried away, but now my mind is eager to add more to the list. I'll spare you though.

  I should get some rest because I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. My therapist said I should discuss my nightmares. I really didn't want to, but they've been especially bad since she suggested that, so I'm taking it as a sign.

  • 11:35 PM
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